In May of 2023 I had my first ever “congratulations, you’re 40, lady” mammogram and in September 2024, my second. Both of these screenings came back normal with a note about having dense breasts following one of the mammograms. In September 2025 I was due for my routine but I had to reschedule it. I tried to make the appointment again but something came up. I could sense a nudging in my spirit not to put this one off as I was admittedly tempted to do. In January of 2026 I did reschedule the mammogram. It was around this time I began noticing symptoms before that appointment in February that changed everything. Timing is curious.

The more I think about it, the further back I go. I recall and connect symptoms I had been having prior to this present cancer. I have an auto immune disease as well as an endocrine/metabolic disease that present me with chronic fatigue already. The fatigue was nearly a debilitating feeling but coupled with a nasty cold I chocked it up to. My nipple on the diseased breast itched intensely with intermittent shooting pain. I remember remarking to my husband how badly it itched and assumed I was suffering with dry skin. During this time my left armpit had been sore like one would expect after straining it through exercise or lifting weights. The breast also felt exceptionally tender which I would disregard to hormonal reasons and my premenstrual cycle. It was when I got out of the shower and was rubbing oil onto my chest that I discovered the lump. It felt hard, like a knot. I immediately withdrew my hand  in disgust and got dressed. I had my husband feel it to make sure I wasn’t being overly dramatic.  My husband confirmed that it did not feel right and urged me to have it checked out.

In February I went to my mammogram knowing I would be the one to tell them about the lump, not the other way around. When the mammographer asked me if I had any concerns I pointed to the lump. She replied by asking permission to feel herself. I knew by the expression on her face it was cause for concern and she proceeded to call my physician before doing the exam. It felt like a small eternity in the room as I waited for her to return and I didn’t have my phone to distract me. I chuckled to myself this felt like a lifetime movie moment. Upon her return I was informed I would immediately have an ultrasound. Thankfully the ultrasound was done that same day and then I was sent home to wait on the results.

I am not known for my patience so I naturally watched my chart like a salacious soap opera anticipating the next plot. My ultrasound came back abnormal obviously so we scheduled the biopsy. I found the biopsy uncommonly uncomfortable. This, too, came back abnormal and revealed a BI-RADS score of 5 which in layman’s terms means you probably have cancer, babe. In seriousness there is a greater than 95 percent chance of malignancy. It was revealed that I also had cancer in one lymphnode.

At this point you should know I knew I had cancer even though it was not officially confirmed.  I did not feel fearful for myself. My mind naturally drifted to having to tell my husband, children, and extended family and friends. I should also mention that this was strangely not a surprise to me although I did not forsee this particular set of circumstances. I have been praying on and off for God to change some things by whatever means necessary or in my very own words, “GIVE THEM A REASON TO NEED YOU”. Dangerous prayers. I knew from the outset this was going to be used by God for good although I still do not know how and may never on this side of my mortality.

My diagnosis at present is invasive ductal carcinoma in the left breast and in one lymphnode. This is the most common type of breast cancer which works in my favor and is estrogen and progesterone positive. The cancer is stage 2, grade 3. This is considered an early and treatable stage which is cause for gratitude and perspective most assuredly!

I have experienced, although in rare exceptions, social interactions that seemed to hint this is merely a light inconvenience to which they can relate to. Most people have been lovely and supportive. I have had some hurtful and dismissive albeit unintentionally so, comments since this cropped up. I am sharing this experience publicly so I cannot expect I won’t ever receive unsolicited feedback. As someone who lives in my head to a fault I have had to “take every thought captive “and hide myself in what I know to be true. I am obligated to offer the grace and mercy I so desperately need and require in return.

This has been such an eye opening experience in a myriad of ways that I would not seek to evade even as I would certainly not choose this. I have seen and felt the prayers of people on my behalf as well as had an educational course on this disease. It would seem there are many a misconception that surrounds it. 

My marriage seems to be in a sweet spot where I am able to see my husband with a fresh wind of appreciation as he remains a strong force for me to lean on. I still struggle with guilt that he has not placed on me for putting him through this mentally and financially. I often wrestle with whether or not I should be public with this, especially when other women have had this significantly worse. I have questioned how the attention does open me up to criticism and if I can handle it. In all of the exhaustive overthinking I arrive at the same conclusion,which is I am to share this.

I have received encouraging confirmation from a few persons who said they found my videos/posts informative and helpful. I have also been able to sprinkle in comments to medical professionals about my faith and the hope I have even in uncertainty. I don’t know what the future holds.  I don’t know what “healing” looks like or if this cancer will come back. Even after surgery and treatment. Even if I do everything “right “and eat like a pristine rabbit. I do know that even when it’s not okay, I will be okay. I don’t have to recite empty platitudes because I know the one who formed my body and heart!